Why Nothing Ever Feels Good Enough
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“Most perfectionists don’t even know that they are perfectionists”
Why does it feel like no accomplishment is ever enough?
You hit the goal. You check the box. You get the thing you've been working toward—and somehow, instead of feeling satisfied, you're already focused on what's next.
If you've ever struggled to enjoy your accomplishments, felt guilty when you rest, or constantly wondered why you still don't feel "there" yet, this episode is for you.
This week on The Experts Series, therapist and founder of Therapy in the City, Aliza Shapiro, joins me to explore one of the most overlooked reasons this happens: perfectionism.
We talk about why so many high-achieving women don't realize they're perfectionists, how achievement becomes tied to self-worth, and why constantly chasing the next milestone can leave us feeling anxious, burnt out, and disconnected from ourselves.
In this episode, we discuss:
• The hidden signs of perfectionism • Why achievement can become tied to identity • The link between perfectionism, anxiety, and burnout • Why rest can feel uncomfortable or even guilt-inducing • How childhood experiences shape perfectionistic thinking • Exposure therapy exercises for perfectionism • The "Here I Am" grounding practice • Building self-compassion and separating worth from achievement • How to slow down without losing your ambition
If you've ever felt like you're constantly moving the goalposts on yourself, this conversation will help you understand why—and what to do about it.
About the Expert
Aliza Shapiro
Licensed Clinical Social WorkerAliza Shapiro, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and the founder of Therapy In The City, a New York-based mental health practice specializing in anxiety, OCD, depression, perfectionism, and related disorders. Through her clinical work, Aliza helps adolescents, young adults, and adults navigate mental health challenges with evidence-based, compassionate care.
Resources
Discounts & Referral Codes
Text Aliza at 646-494-2653Books
The Gifts of Imperfection • Link to purchase Helplines & Crisis Support
Text HOME to 741741 for a free 24/7 crisis text line
Call 212-673-3000 for The Samaritans 24-Hour Crisis Hotline
Text WELL to 65173 or call 888-NYC-WELL (888-692-9355) for NYC Well (Free and Confidential Crisis Services)